You are beautiful just the way you are
As I sat there scrolling through my Instagram feed looking at all the beautiful young models I followed while dreaming how nice it would be to be that skinny in a bikini or wonder how they feel satisfied just drinking that green juice and no carb diet, meanwhile shovelling another chocolate coated almond in my mouth, I suddenly stopped to think…. why am I even wishing for that and who am I to judge these women? I remembered I have my own beautiful life why should I continue to endeavour to look at others and want something that someone only portrays to be perfect on social media. It got me thinking, how many women actually love the skin their in and the lives they lead? How many of us day in day out look at others and think wow wouldn’t it be nice to be them?
Last year was a changing point for me. Like for many others (according to my social media feed) 2016 was a bitch! I had my ups, however I had my biggest down I have ever experienced and I didn’t know how I was going to get through it. I lost faith and trust in people I had once loved, I had to make life changing decisions that I never thought I would need to make, and for once in my life I had no direction and no motivation to even get out of bed let alone face the world. My biggest loss however was my self confidence.
I questioned my own beauty, I wondered what it was that I lacked that perhaps others had to offer. I did not love who I was and I forgot what it was about me that made me unique and original. I got sick. I was anxious, I was skinny, I was unhealthy and I was stressed. I cried too much, I smiled not enough and I did not sleep. I lost the happy pieces of the puzzle that made up that bright and bubbly individual that I was. I knew I had to put on a brave face daily, walk out the door with a painted smile and did what was necessary to continue to run a business, but I was not alive only living. The normal Hannah was no where to be seen, it was just a downgraded robot version lacking passion and motivation…. I knew I had to find her, I knew she was just hiding behind all the pain.
Lucky for friends, family and that little spark deep down that reminded me I am a strong, independent and successful woman and nobody can or will take that away from me. I could not have learnt self love with out the support network I had. They reminded me I was beautiful just the way I was, all of the the quirks and perks that made up me. Even the annoying traits like the spontaneous wine drinking/espresso martini loving party animal that lived in the moment and never said no to adventure or a late night dance. Then there was the good qualities like being a motivated, passionate, caring, confident and creative dreamer, the friendly adventurer who wasn’t conventional in her ways by any means and who lived by her own rules and crafted her own journey creating and collecting memories not things all the while gravitating towards those with the same purpose, drive and willingness to learn and grow. The one who cared too much and too often put others before herself, with friends in weird and wonderful places and enough stories from her adventures to write a novel.
Suddenly it hit me, the people I cared about most reminded me on the daily why I was beautiful to them yet I was doing nothing but crying over spilt milk. We spend all this time following others and aspiring to be like those perfect lives we see instead of living our own original version of a perfect life! So I put down my phone and I decided to make a change for the better.
I got out of bed, I put on my gym clothes, I woke up before sunrise and hiked everyday to the top of a local mountain and embraced the sun as it came over the horizon reminding myself that it was a new day to make a difference to making myself feel “beautiful” again. I started yoga releasing the bad energy and stress I had built up. I took away the negative social media followings and instead added positive. I asked for help from my parents, my beautiful team of girls in my business and my amazing friends and endeavoured to stay constantly busy. I got out of my comfort zone, experienced new things, joined a new gym and even though I spent so much time alone on my work travels, I found a new love for my own company and actually enjoyed being alone. I learnt to love what I had in life, be proud of what I had built and created with my business and most of all appreciate the experiences of what life had thrown at me, both good and bad and what I had learnt about myself and how I handle situations. I learnt to remember I cannot change what has happened, only learn from it, what will be will be and most of all everything really does happen for a reason.
Who knew it, but I think I became a stronger, happier version of me and I found beauty not only in myself but in my life. I am turning 26 this year, yes I own a business, yes I have travelled and yes I have the best friends and family in the world but do I have everything I could ever want…no. Does this scare me, not at all! Someone is out there that will accept all those weird and wonderful quirks and perks of me and love me regardless and think that I am the most beautiful woman in the world because I am like nobody else and I am original. I am so far from perfect its not funny but I have other qualities that make up for it and I believe this makes me beautiful in my own way. Self love is so important, self belief is so important and there is no definition of what is beautiful so make your own version of beautiful.
To all the women on my newsfeed, you are beautiful just the way you are. I believe everyone is beautiful in their own way and should you ever feel you aren’t, I am happy to be the one to remind you you are.
Everything is going to be ok, you are beautiful just the way you are.
Happy 2017 to all the beautiful woman reading this and don’t ever feel like you aren’t loved because you are <3